Dealing with aging can often be hard to handle. When laundry, cooking, or even dressing becomes difficult for a parent, it can be difficult for their children to watch. Bills will often be left unpaid. Mail becomes neglected more and more. As people age, even the simplest tasks can seem difficult to perform. Even the easiest of tasks from before can be strenuous for a person to do.
Witnessing a parent’s age causing them problems with simple tasks can be frustrating and heartbreaking. Growing up, children see their parents as immortal heroes in most cases. The thought of them growing frail eludes most of us until we witness it firsthand. Then comes the difficult decision no child wants to face: whether assisted living homes would be a better option for their parents to alleviate their day-to-day stresses.
This discussion doesn’t have to be a difficult one, however. There are ways to avoid resentment and denial from the parent while remaining supportive and caring.
How to Broach the Subject
Sometimes, our approach to a subject can be the problem, not how the person receives it. Tone, body language, expression, and wording play key roles in how a person accepts a subject. Changing tactics can help when a chosen approach doesn’t work the first time. Repeating the same speech will warrant even more negative reactions.
Some tips on a different approach when suggesting a senior living community in the Encinitas area to a parent are:
Asking a parent to explore options with you will give them a sense of control. Telling them that they have to do something will instantly put them in a defensive position on the subject.
Leave the frustration and fear out of the conversation entirely. Be supportive, express concern, and show love instead. Let them know they aren’t alone.
Highlight the benefits that living in an assisted living community in Encinitas, CA, can bring them.
Asking trusted friends or family members for advice and feedback will also help. They can advise whether an approach feels too pushy, too controlling, or will be doomed to fail. Their advice will help to change the proposal accordingly.
Don’t be Discouraged
Approaching the subject of assisted living can often feel like an impossible task. Sometimes the parent can feel frustrated and hurt just by being asked. When approaching the topic of assisted living fails, backing off may help alleviate their frustration. Give them a few weeks to think things through before trying again. This period will give them time to process the proposal more clearly. The parent can evaluate their situation and may decide that they need care for seniors.
Always be Open and Honest
Honesty truly is the best policy when it comes to presenting your feelings on the subject of assisted living. Keeping fear and frustration out is still important while expressing worry and concern. Having a good relationship with the parents is also a boon. Their concern over the child’s feelings may make them more receptive to the subject.
A few ideas to try when broaching the subject the first time (or again) are:
Mention how loved they are
Mention how worried you are
Bring up their happiness
Include your strain or exhaustion
Remind them that you’re being helpful, not hindering
Remind yourself how they could be feeling afraid, hurt, targeted, etc. by the subject
Never call them selfish or annoying
Never call them a burden
Present assisted living as a way to help both sides
Try to prevent personal frustration, fear, anger, or other negative emotions from affecting the proposal’s tone. The primary goal is to present assisted living communities as a safer, less stressful way of enjoying the remainder of their years. This goal is especially true for memory care communities that help Alzheimer’s residents.
The Last Resort
When senior parents refuse to accept that they should move into a memory care community, it may be time to seek legal support. Elder care lawyers provide advice and options that can help when senior parents refuse assisted living care. This route can lead to the parent feeling hurt or angry, but the outcome is much safer than risking injury to themselves or others. Remember to try every possible route before seeking legal advice. Sometimes, the threat of legal involvement can be enough to convince a senior parent to choose assisted living.
Let Us Care for Them
Make the best decision for your senior parents by letting us take care of them at Summerfield of Encinitas. We offer an elevated memory care experience for senior residents with amenities like nowhere else. We are not the alternative; we are the solution for providing a safe and caring environment where senior residents can feel comfortable. Give us a call and schedule a tour of our community.